Tuesday, August 21

Protein-Dense Foods: A Primer

That database of mine is a source of endless amusement. Today's excerpt: Top Ten Protein-Dense Foods.

You're guessing: Steak, Chicken, Bacon, Tuna, Liverwurst, Calf Brain, Cheese, and Eggs. Aren't you. I know you are.

Keep hoping. The top ten foods for protein density (grams of protein per gram of weight). Drum-roll, please:

  • Number 10: Bacon. Seriously. Bacon. But once you've cooked the living daylights out of it, and sopped up all the grease with paper towels, it's pretty lightweight. Ratio of protein grams to weight: .37
  • Number 9: Grated Parmesan Cheese. (Of course. The stuff is corpse dry, and tastes like powdered cardboard.) Weighs in at .38
  • Number 8: Flax Seed. (Hello, old friend. You're also on the list of calorie-dense foods.) .40
  • Number 7: Yeast. Straight out of the package. Yeah, don't eat that. .41
  • Number 6: Edamame. Lovely, tasty edamame. Definitely DO eat that. .49
  • Number 5: Nutritional Yeast. Tastes like cheese. Vegan favorite. .50
  • Number 4: Raw Hemp Powder. No pot, just protein. .53
  • Number 3: Hemp Seeds. Did I mention Hemp Fest just ended its Seattle run? Bunch of stoners. But they're good to go in the protein department. .55
  • Number 2: Spirulina. Beautiful blue-green algae, yummy in smoothies, and unusually pretty in a glass canister. Some of which I own. .57

And there you have it: Nine of the top-ten high-protein foods you can shove down your throat. What? I left off number one? Well, yes. I did. It was sort of deliberate. Because number one is a football.

Oh, ok. Here goes: The number one most-protein-rich food in the Yew-ni-ted States?

  • Pork rinds. That's right. Fluffy, greasy, protein rich, 154-calories-an-ounce fried pig skin! With a protein density of .61.

That is all.

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Can't mention football without playing my university fight song: Rise and Shout!