Thursday, June 28

Cardio: My Kryptonite

During boot camp the other night I found myself panting on a bench next to a former winner of this Biggest Loser competition.

He’s in his fifth round of this thing – because, apparently, winning five grand is addictive. He came in third two times, won once, and won the “Biggest Gainer” title (for muscle gain) a different time.

“So,” I gasped. “What’s the secret? Is it diet, or exercise?”

“Well,” said he (Note that he did not gasp, because – apparently – doing this five times also gives you strong lungs). “Diet does make a difference, no doubt. And I usually under-eat when I’m competing.”

He paused. And continued not gasping.

“But to tell the truth, I work from home, so I get to go to the gym two or three hours a day. And for the last five competitions, as far as I can tell, whoever does the most cardio, wins.”

So there you have it. From the winner’s mouth to my ears. More cardio.

Dang-nab it.

Because I was really hoping the secret to winning was “More Carrot Cake.”

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Is it possible men are meant to ride with clouds between their knees? Today's soundtrack brought to you by Five for Fighting: Superman (and incidentally, the very best piece of pop music ever written.)


  1. I will really tell you the secret.

    5 days a week, 45 minutes of variable intensity cardio. 1 minute slow, 3 minutes hard, on and off. You should be dripping sweat when you are done.

    3 days a week, you should lift moderate amounts of weight to maintain your muscle mass. Muscle mass burns calories. keep all the lean muscle you can. It also is the only way to turn a pear shape into an hourglass shape. Otherwise, you end up just a smaller pear. You become "skinny/fat".

    And the most important part: be accountable for every morsel you put in your mouth. Log everything. Eat a 40% protein, 35% carb, 25% fat diet at 1700 calories per day for men, 1300 for women.

    1. I actually do that much cardio -- and more. And eat fewer calories than that -- quite a bit fewer. And the weight loss isn't keeping up. Cannot explain it.

      Maybe I'll start with the weights, on top of everything else.