Tuesday, August 7

Jail Bait

So today I was a criminal. And I saved someone's life. And I got my miracle.

After hiking the big hill, twice, I decided to walk to the gym. When I was a few miles down the road, boppin' to my tunes, I saw an old woman across the street lugging her shopping cart. She hit a rough patch and fell into oncoming traffic.

I was probably 50 feet away, but a large delivery van was flying down the road toward her. I ran out into traffic waving my arms like a maniac, and the truck stopped. At the same moment, another woman jumped out of her car and ran out into traffic with me. We both grabbed the old lady and her cart, and dragged her into the bushes ... and beat her up.

No we didn't.

We picked her up and got her out of the road, then tried to stanch the bleeding. No luck. And she was filthy and shaking. So the other woman ran back into traffic to get water from her car while I stood out in the road playing traffic cop. We started cleaning up the old lady, but she was still bleeding and dirty, so I took off running to the dollar store just down the block.

I ran in, grabbed bandaids and first-aid cream, and then shouted to the clerk that I'd come back and pay in two minutes. She yelled at me, but I just kept running.

I ran all the way back to the old lady, and the other woman -- who was much calmer than me -- got the ointment and bandaids into place. Then we both dragged the poor old lady to the woman's car, quite against her will, and made her accept a ride home. She protested, but we out-muscled her. I mean, we insisted. So she eventually got in the car with her groceries, and I walked -- not ran -- back to the dollar store, hoping I wouldn't get arrested.

The clerk was not pleased with me.

But after I left, I realized -- Hey! I can run! Yesterday, I could not run. I'd tried running, but nothing happened. My busted ankle and I couldn't work out the mechanics.

So once I realized I could run -- just like I did last Friday while I was sleeping -- I ran most of the way down the hill to the gym. I even stopped by my high school track, which is on the way down the hill, and ran a lap. My first lap ever. My gym teacher used to threaten me with detention and beatings because I couldn't -- or wouldn't -- run a full lap during gym class. So ha, mean gym teacher! I ran the track!

And that's what I did today.

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The Crystals got the words wrong: It's actually Do Run Run Run.